For many years, my New Year’s resolution was to exercise at least four days a week (now it’s six). I kept track on a paper calendar (you remember paper calendars from the BG and BBB days — Before Google and Before BlackBerry?) I’d cross off each day that I exercised for at least 20 minutes, although the goal was 30 or more. If I only exercised three days one week, that was okay, because I could shoot for five the next. There was no throwing up of hands, oh well, I didn’t make it four days this week, I couldn’t keep my New Year’s resolution again this year. I was kind to myself (and as a certified perfectionist, I’m not often kind to myself. Like right now I’m berating myself: why do you use so many parentheticals in your writing? (That is not a good thing)).
Anyway, if you are struggling to keep up with your New Year’s resolutions, or have already thrown in the towel, I want you to be kind to yourself and rededicate yourself to your resolutions. Do you want to know my trick for doing that? It’s super easy and effective.
Talk to yourself like you would talk to a good friend.
Would you say to a good friend, “I can’t believe you didn’t exercise today!” or “You’re only down two pounds instead of four. You might as well give up because you’re never going to meet your goal.” Of course not! But for some reason, we are harder on ourselves than we are on our friends. Why?? We deserve to be treated with the same kindness.
For example, if you were training for a race and you missed a week of training for whatever reason, you might beat yourself up mentally over it. You might even be worried you could not meet the race distance and should give up on the race. If a friend missed a week of training, you would not say a single negative thing. You would give her a supportive pep talk. “I know it’s hard when you get off track for a week, but you can do it! Don’t give up now! I am proud of you!” You’d help her figure out how to adjust her workouts to resume her training plan.
Don’t give in to your own stinkin’ thinkin’ (that’s a Crazy Sexy Cancermovie reference) (and there’s another parenthetical, but I choose to forgive myself for that). Treat yourself with kindness. Treat yourself as you would treat others.