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Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Happy Halloween everyone! For your amusement, enjoy this photo of my jack o’lantern from last year. My records show that I was really on the ball in 2011, a super-organized mom who carved this pumpkin well in advance of the holiday:

Christmas tree jack-o-lantern

A very merry Halloween to you!

Yup, I was either a week late for Halloween or seven weeks early for Christmas. Go me!

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If you live in Southern California and are looking for something fun to do on Saturday November 3, 2012, go check out my husband’s band The Strings, playing at Big’s in Fullerton to help raise funds for Making Strides Against Breast Cancer (The American Cancer Society).

Band flyer

Those are quite the top hats!

If you can’t make it or you just want a preview of how awesome The Strings sound, have a listen to this cover version of the song “She” by Green Day. As a bonus, the guys were dressed in Halloween costumes. The vampire on the bass is my hubby. At one point during the song, the LA County sheriffs arrive, but that doesn’t stop the boys! The police officers came out two more times during that night, but never shut them down. I think they secretly appreciated the music!

Go on out to Big’s to hear some great music and support a wonderful cause! My “top hats” and I will be at home, taking care of the kids, but I’ll be at Big’s in spirit!

Have you raised funds for any charity in the last year? Do you join any race teams for a good cause? I haven’t done any fundraising in the last year (beyond paying race fees for charity races), although I have made it a point this year to support any of my friends who have walked or run in support of a charity. I’ve got some generous, motivated friends who have raised funds for Children’s Hospital of Orange County, Susan G. Komen for the Cure, the American Cancer Society, Bike MS (multiple sclerosis), A Light of Hope Support Center, and Take Steps for Crohn’s and Colitis.

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In retrospect, it appears that several things contributed to my development of plantar fasciitis, the pain in my . . . feet. 😉 In my marathon training, I made the mistake(s) of adding on too much speed work and hill work at the same time I built up the running mileage. With my new gym membership, I started running more often on the treadmill rather than running on the softer surfaces at the track or on trails. I also made errors of omission. I should have strengthened and stretched my plantar fasciae and calves. Any of those things alone could have done my feet in, but I think there’s one more new thing I introduced that really is the main culprit:

(That’s an Amazon affiliate image, just so I could show you The Culprit. It’s cheaper to buy a spin bike direct through spinning.com, although feel free to buy through my link because the commission would be more than I would normally make in a year from Amazon Associates. 🙂 But I digress.)

Yes, it’s my beloved Star Trac NXT Spin Bike that I ride in my favorite Cycle Sculpt class at the gym. Because my road bike shoes do not fit the cleats on the indoor spin bike, and I do not (yet) have the right indoor spinning bike shoes, I have been wearing my regular running shoes in the pedal toe clips. That means that when I add resistance and stand up on the bike, all my weight rests on the balls of my feet and strains the plantar fasciae. (This is my non-medical, my-own-experience your-mileage-may-vary opinion of what’s happening). How do I know this? My feet were feeling surprisingly great a few days after racing in the triathlon a week ago. I got back on the spin bike for a 40-minute workout and I ended up with a major flare-up of the plantar fasciitis. The spin bike hadn’t bothered me when I remained seated for an entire Cycle Sculpt class, and my hour-plus outdoor bike ride for the triathlon didn’t bother me, but just 40-minutes and a few intervals of standing up on the spinning bike strained my feet. I’m not saying it’s the sole culprit, but it’s definitely a big contributor. I’m not going to give up spinning, but I will certainly stay seated on the bike until I can buy some proper indoor cycling shoes.

The good news in all this is that I do not think running is doing as much damage to my feet as I thought. I got out yesterday for a 12-mile run (if you could call it that — I’d be more inclined to call it a slogging 2 hour 15 minute jog). While my feet weren’t exactly thanking me, they feel pretty good today. Better than my aching thighs and hips! Clearly I’ve lost some fitness in the last few weeks of dealing with the plantar fasciitis, but I’m determined to get back on track, so to speak.

I leave you with a little unrelated laugh, compliments of my bill-paying efforts this morning. When I paid my garbage hauler (trash) bill, I noticed this awesome promise on the bottom of the bill:

IF NOT SATISFIED WITH OUR SERVICE,

WE GUARANTEE “DOUBLE YOUR TRASH BACK”

What are your thoughts on my theories as to what has contributed to the plantar fasciitis? If you’ve dealt with PF, what do you think caused it? Do you have a recommendation for good indoor cycling shoes?

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Don’t worry men, you don’t have to avert your eyes for this one, we’re not talking about that kind of burning. We’re talking about the burning questions that bring searchers to Fit Fun Mom via Google. I am here to help!

1. black running shoes are they bad

Now that depends on what you mean by “bad.” Bad as in “cool”? Totally! My husband says I look like I’m on a secret military mission when I wear my black Brooks and my black running tights and top. I like looking fierce!

Runner in black

The fierce Fit Fun Mom in black takes on Mammoth in winter

(Confession: I only bought the black pair because they were cheaper on Amazon and I am nothing if not cheap). Are black shoes bad in the traditional sense? Only if you’re concerned about visibility, and even then you are better off relying on your shirt and shorts to make you visible to others on the road.

2. can you swim breaststroke in a wetsuit?

Absolutely! A wetsuit might totally feel restrictive but it won’t keep you from swimming breaststroke. You won’t get far (you’re way faster doing freestyle) but you can do it. I do it when I suddenly need to catch my breath during a triathlon swim.

3. do kids have to swim freestyle in triathlon

Nope! Adults don’t have to swim freestyle either! In triathlon you can swim any which way you want as long as you are propelling yourself forward under your own power.

4. can you swim in the Santa Ana River?

Dude, the better question is why would you want to swim in the Santa Ana River? The Santa Ana Regional Water Quality Control Board names one of its challenges as, “Reduce salts and nutrients in manure and wash water from dairy operations overlying the Chino Groundwater Basin that have severely degraded groundwater quality and threaten downstream water quality.” Eww! It goes on to say it needs to “[m]anage nonpoint sources of pathogens that continue to affect the quality of the Santa Ana River, thus rendering the river unsuitable for swimming.” So no, do not dip your toe in that river. Besides, half the time the river looks like this:

The Santa Ana River, not exactly flowing along swimmingly

5. penis for women to pee

I know I wrote about the Shewee: For Women on the Go “To Go” and I did talk about penis envy, but even I had to giggle when someone searched for “penis for women to pee.”

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After a fantastic Labor Day weekend it’s back to our regular programming. I thought we could all use a laugh as we dive into the week. My three girls provide plenty of entertainment….

  • I caught my four-year-old pushing buttons on the telephone and asked her to hang it up before she accidentally called someone. She assured me I didn’t need to worry. “The only person I call on this phone is the one who says, ‘Hang up and try again.'”

 

  • My seven-year-old lost her fifth tooth. She wrote a note to the Tooth Fairy (identity fully known): “I wont to keep my tooth but can you give me mune”? She got her wish. One dollar for each year of age. The Tooth Fairy is very generous around here, after my oldest daughter knocked out her first tooth on the concrete floor of a basement when she was three.

 

  • When we went to Zuma Beach for the Nautica Malibu Triathlon open water swim clinic, my 10-year-old caught a Pismo clam and declared it her new pet. The clam’s name? Chowder. Don’t worry, a week later, Chowder was returned to the ocean in its new home at San Clemente City Beach.
San Clemente City Beach

Goodbye clam “Chowder.” We hope you like San Clemente City Beach!

  • I discovered that someone had drawn on the living room blinds in pen. It looked suspiciously like the handiwork of my 4-year-old, but she denied it. “That wasn’t me. I remember not doing it.”

What funny thing have you heard or seen lately?

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Runners often lament that they get black toenails. I’m not sure anyone’s pinpointed the exact cause of black toenails, the painful blood blisters under the nails. Ill-fitting shoes, downhill running, anatomy, swelling in the heat, lack of nail trimming, plain bad luck, some combination thereof? I do follow the advice to prevent black toenails: getting fitted for a proper size running shoe with enough room in the toe box, wearing wicking running socks, and trimming my toenails to the point they don’t look fantastic in this Southern California flip-flop wearing culture.

Still, I think the main reason I haven’t fallen victim to the dreaded black toe is that I simply haven’t reached a high enough running mileage. I don’t think I’m immune to it, and I like to tempt fate with my own little inside joke for runners:

Black toenail polish

Tempting fate by painting my toenails black

I used my 10-year-old’s non-toxic Piggy Paint to paint my nails black. It makes me smile every time I slip on my running shoes!

Do you get black toenails? What have you done to treat and/or prevent them?

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stack of pancakes with syrup

I could eat this photo by Alicia Solario

You know what the hardest part of a long Saturday run is? It’s not the early morning wake up, the Southern California 76 degree heat even at 7 a.m., the 86 degree heat by the time I finished, the 11 miles on the road, or the smell of exhaust from the lawn mowers and leaf blowers. It’s the smell of pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon. I don’t even eat bacon, but it smells heavenly when all you’ve had to eat is half a banana and you’re eight miles into a run. There ought to be a law, or at least a principle of honor, that dictates that anyone who makes pancakes on a Saturday morning on a well-traveled running route must set out an extra plate, preferably with a side of real maple syrup. Listen up politicians. Here’s your new campaign slogan, free of charge: Pancakes for Everyone! The world would be a better place.

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Oh my goodness, I am about to bring women everywhere a valuable public service announcement. If you’ve ever wished you could pee standing up, here is your cure for penis envy.

It’s the Shewee, the hilarious yet oh-so-practical female urination device for the athlete on the go! You pull aside your underwear, place the Shewee securely to your body, aim away from your feet, complete your business, shake dry and place the Shewee back in its case or a resealable bag. Here’s the illustration from the company in case you’re having trouble picturing it:

Right off the bat I can see at least three uses for this for female athletes:

1. To avoid having to sit on the nasty seat at the race porta potties.
2. To pee discreetly while on the race course without having to wet oneself or wait in line at an all-too-rare porta potty on the course.
3. To finally be able to write your name in the snow.

Why had I never heard of this before?! Apparently this is only one of several brands of such devices on the market. Another reusable brand folds up compactly, and there are disposable, cardboard versions, too.

So ladies, let’s get down to business. Would you use the Shewee? Have you tried it or something like it? Have you ever squatted in the bushes at a race? Have you ever wet yourself (on purpose) while running, just to save valuable race time? 

FTC disclosure: Amazon.com links support this blog at no cost to you and do not affect the opinion of FitFunMom.

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Here’s a little running humor to start your week off right:

After three pregnancies, my regular shoe size went up half a size to 9.5. When I bought my first pair of running shoes, they were a size 10.5. Then the manufacturer changed the model for the new year and I needed a — gasp — 11. As I trained for my first triathlons and half marathon, I lost 17 pounds and with those, lost one full bra cup size! Ladies, can any of you relate?

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